In order to keep Gavin from squirming, complaining, fighting me or undressing himself as I'm dressing him for hockey at 0700 Saturday mornings, I recite him Caroll's "Jabberwock" poem, which we both love.

He sits quietly, helpfully supplies words when I pause

("BURBLED!!")

and usually it takes about four highly animated repetitions of it to get him geared up, skates to helmet.

This Saturday, Gavin had his own ideas about how the Jabberwock story goes, however. For those of you who think you know how it all went down, I tell you there's so much more that what made it to the written page. You have no idea.


See, the boy hero in Jabberwock used to have two dads (I know, I know, but I swear I didn't coach him on this one).

Dad #1 was tragically killed a year prior to where the Jabberwock story starts by -- get this -- a Jub Jub bird.

So why, you may ask, did the boy hero of Jabberwock go to slay the Jabberwock?

A case of tragic misinformation, Gavin tells me.

The Jabberwock was framed.

See, Jabberwocks, despite their rather alarming biting-tooth, catching-claw appearance, are mostly peaceable creatures. Sure, they look scary, but Gavin informs me that really, they only eat what they have to to survive. Bugs and things mostly, he says.

Jub Jub birds, on the other hand, are apparently the real rat bastards of the Tulgey Wood. Mean, violent, bloodthirsty, and don't think for a moment about fingering someone else for it all.

Not only that, but Jub Jub birds are actually aliens. They come from Saturn, and juvenile Jub Jubs can fly, but by the time they reach maturity Jub Jubs become flightless. They're too heavy. Like ostrich, Gavin explains.

So vorpal justice was had on the wrong critter. And the Jabberwock leaves behind his own nest of orphaned youngsters, whom Gavin has said are none too happy about their father's wrongful death.

No doubt, the Jub Jub birds, those Tulgey Wood Iagos, will be all too happy to watch the rest of the tradgedy spin out, when those normally peaceful, mostly-vegetarian but now very pissed off, vengeance-seeking young Jabberwocks come of age.

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- posted by Kate @ 1:33 PM